I should've just said 'yes' back then;

it feels just like i'm going crazy

I wonder how long it might take to stop thinking.
I want to stop thinking, but I want to keep remembering.
I want to shout in your face how much I hate you,
but then I want to kiss you to show how much I miss you.

Maybe if we met for the last time, it would be different.
After all I'm used to goodbyes and separations.
But it just feels so weird, that we didn't share a last kiss, that we didn't say our greetings before going. The last time we saw each other I thought it will not take more than few hours before I see you again.

Maybe if we didn't fight it would be different.
I hate leaving things on a string like this.
The moment I hang up on you, shouting, and I didn't pick up when you called me back..
I never thought I will not hear your voice ever again.

I guess I didn't think much when I was with you, didn't I?
I've made so many mistakes, stupid things
But all of them didn't mattter in the very end.
Maybe I've made a mistake. Maybe more than one. But I don't regret even a second I spent with you.
I only regret I didn't cherish them properly.

And now I wish I could see you once more.
Where are you?
I guess I will never find out.
I hate you!
But I would love to tell you in your face how much I hate you.
And then suddenly realize that there's no point in being mad, because nothing else matters as long as you're here.

But you're not here. So I keep on hating you.

a pesar de todos tus mentiras y secretos
eres alguien muy importante para mi
hoy todo el dia estas en mi cabeza
.. o en mi corazon?

quiero saber que es el amor.
porque ahora siento como si nunca sabia nada de amor.
te amo, pero quiero a el.
o.. te quiero, pero amo a el?

solamente oir tu voz, siento que me tocas y conozco tus besos..
esos son todos los que necesito.

MADRID.

Just a random word to piss me off? -_-

I know these eyes　つめたい voices
I know these eyes tsumetai voices
ゆれる My faint
yureru my faint
多分少し　afraid to run away
tabun sukoshi afraid to run away
でも今は
demo iwa wa

このまま時を　抱きしめたい
kono mama toki wo dakishimetai
あなたのそばに　I'm dreaming one of days
anata no soba ni i'm dreaming one of days
約束の空　見上げるとき
yakusoku no sora miageru toki
とびたてる　Break all the way
tobitateru break all the way

一人 thinking　みつめる my face
hitori thinking mitsumeru my face
今これが
ima kore ga
Shouting, Waiting,　じっといられない
shouting, waiting jitto irarenai
Faithは　In your eyes
faith wa in your eyes

このまま時を 駆け抜けたい
kono mama toki wo kakenuketai
あなたのそばに　I'm dreaming one of days
anata no soba ni I'm dreaming one of days
約束の空　見上げるとき
yakusoku no sora miageru toki
とびたてる　Break all the way
tobitateru break all the way

このまま時を　抱きしめたい
kono mama toki wo dakishimetai
あなたのそばに　I'm dreaming one of days
anata no soba ni i'm dreaming one of days
約束の空　見上げるとき
yakusoku no sora miageru toki
とびたてる　Break all the way
tobitateru break all the way


このまま時を　I just wanna be with you
kono mama toki wo i just wanna be with you
あなたのそばに　I'm dreaming one of days
anata no soba ni i'm dreaming one of days
約束の空　見上げるとき
yakusoku no sora miageru toki
I know I can change all the way
i know i can change all the way

このまま
kono mama
I just wanna..
I just wanna..


I know these eyes and cold voices
They shake my faint*
Probably I'm a bit afraid to run away
But now..

In times like this I wanna hold you,
Be by your side, I'm dreaming one of days
When I look up I see a sky of promises
Flying up, I will break all the way

Thinking alone, I stare at my face
And now
Shouting, waiting, I cannot stay still
My faith is in your eyes.

In times like this I wanna run
To be by your side, I'm dreaming one of days
When I look up I see a sky of promises
Flying up I will break all the way

In times like this I wanna hold you,
Be by your sude, I'm dreaming one of days
When I look up I see a sky of promises
Flying up I will break all the way

In times like this I just wanna be with you,
Be by your side, I'm dreaming one of days
When I look up I see a sky of promises
And I know** I can change all the way
Just like this
I just wanna..

* I think the more adequate word would be weakness. Like, the words and looks of people
hating on her or something, are making all her weakness visible.


** She doesn't sing the part in italics, but the song just gives the feeling that
the promises she had made with her lover are giving her a strenght to be able
to make a change, instead of running away.

Overall this is a very nice song. Very girly too, I'd say. I guess most of girls know this feeling - being overall happy, but there are always times like this, and people, who make you lose your confidence; who make all your weakness visible. In times like this we just want to run and hide in
the arms of someone we love, and somehow we realize, that hiding isn't a solution. But there is that feeling, having a loved one by your side, that enables you to believe, that this love will let you fly to the sky, and it will give you a strenght to change, and to break away. <3

TOHOSHINKI 4TH LIVE TOUR ~THE SECRET CODE~
in OSAKA JOU HALL
09.6.13

( This is madness. This is.. OSAKA! )

Ok, now, I want to congratulate everyone who survived till the end. You are amazing, because I've been writing it with multiple breaks for like 4-5 hours.

I'm making this entry public, so you can link to me if you want to share this account.
Please comment so we can spazz further!
If you want to repost, ask for permission, and I will surely agree. :3

I hope I didn't miss any important details :)
Once again I have to say....

I LOVE TOHOSHINKI! and THANK YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING SHOW.

P.S. Forgive me my english, I don't even bother to make some proof reading, I'm too exhausted after writing all of that. XD

Because I have to update this journal even with some smaller shit.
I need to wash me teeth and make some coffee, it's so hard to work without coffee.

And my dog needs to pee, I will walk the baby~ Fresh air will help me to think too, I will take little copybook and pencil, and walk around thinking about the presentation, fresh air and relaxed atmosphere will help me for sure.
No, it's better to just relax, screw the notes for now. When I'm back I will take a sit and concentrate.

Shit my nail polish is rubbing off. I will just fix it.
And by now coffee is over, I will make another one.

"Conversation" with mum about reasonable amounts of caffeine daily.
After that I'm getting a tea.

But I need to have a smoke after fight with mum.

I'm hungry. I will just make myself mozzarella with tomatoes and olives and work, promise!
Dog needs love, his tails is bleeding again.

Katie called me, she is fucking distracting me!
I'm working here! >_>

No, I'm not PROcrastinating.

Being unforgettable is just a weird kind of feeling that goes away right after it shows up. In every corner of my mind I see the shadows of your face. Of the face I felt unforgettable. But time flows, and the sight of your face slowely leaves my mind. I can't keep it here, although I want it so much. I need to see you right now, to feel your face, to study each and every element of your body again.
Why is that impossible? Why does my heart cry when I think of you? I thought our story was an epic. I thought it was meant to last.
But fate is playing with us. The more I want to keep you by myself the more I lose you.
What should I do now?

[君の声も　その細い肩も
その瞳も　僕のものじゃない
どんなに　傍にいても…
君の未来　壊さない限り
この想いを　叶えることは出来ないよ
ひとときの夢　痛いほど好きなのに
夜が終わってく]

lyrics taken from music.goo.ne.jp/lyric/LYRUTND76499/index.html

従順そうな執事で　「こちらへ」と導かれ
Juujun souna shitsuji de "kochira e" to michibikare
回廊の火を点けて　「赤を右に」と言った
Kairo no hi wo tsukete "aka o migi ni" to itta

壊れた回転扉　床には極楽鳥花
Kowareta kaitentobira yuka ni wa gokurakuchouka
繻儒子の壁を這うタランチュラ　踵返し笑った
Jusu no kabe wo hau TARANCHURA kibisu kaeshi waratta

Where're you going baby?

楡の揺れ椅子で待って　七つを数えるまで目を開けないで
Nire no yuriisu de matte nanatsu wo kazoeru made me wo akenaide

(pret une) 首筋に夜の雫が...　声にできないほど
(pret une)Kubisuji ni yoru no shizuku ga.. koe ni dekinai hodo
(deux) ネジ式積み木の城で...　指の隙間へと
(deux)Nejishiki tsumiki no shiro de.. yubi no sukima e to
(trois) 絡み合った蜘蛛の糸は...　このままずっと
(trois)Karamiatta kumo no ito wa.. kono mama zutto
上がり出した砂時計　９０９５ (ninety-ninety five)... 5...
Agari dashita sunadokei 9095.. 5..

長い回廊に響く　「どこかであったでしょうか？」
Nagai kairou ni hibiku "dokoka deatta deshou ka?"
「青は赤の左に」
"Ao wa aka no hidaru ni"

錆び付いた天使の羽根　獏が捨てた昨日の夢
Sabi tsuita tenshi no hane baku ga suteta kinou no yume
先は手の鳴る方へ　目隠しをして
Saki wa te no naru hou e mekakushi wo shite

Who are you? Tell me baby

それは誰も映らない　鏡の中にその手を入れるとき
Sore wa daremo utsuranai kagami no naka ni sono te wo ireru toki

(et quatre) 背中まで麝香の香り...　熱い呼吸の音
(et quatre) Senaka made jukou no kaori.. atsui kokyu no uta
(cinq) 空白に浮かぶ瞳...　許されないのなら
(cinq)Kuuhaku ni ukabu hitomi.. yurusarenai no nara
(six) その涙が生き返ったら...　どうしてもっと
(six)Sono namida ga ikikaettara.. doushite motto
目覚めてゆく化石たち　９０９５...
Mezamete yuku kasekitachi 9095

もう何も探さないで　そばにいるから
Mou nanimo sagasanaide soba ni iru kara
目を開けてしまったのなら　戻れなくても...
me wo akete shimatta no nara modorenakutemo..
それでもいいのなら　そっと
soredemo ii no nara sotto

(pret un) 首筋に夜の雫が...　声にできないほど
(pret un)Kubisuji ni yoru no shizuku ga.. koe ni dekinai hodo
(deux) ネジ式積み木の城で...　指の隙間へと
(deux)Nejishiki tsumiki no shiro de.. yubi no sukima e to
(trois) 絡み合った蜘蛛の糸は...　このままずっと
(trois)Karamiatta kumo no ito wa.. kono mama zutto
上がり出した砂時計　９０９５...
Agari dashita sunadokei 9095

(et quatre) 背中まで麝香の香り...　熱い呼吸の音
(et quatre)Senaka made jakou no kaori.. atsui kokyu no uta
(Cinq) 空白に浮かぶ瞳...　許されないのなら
(cinq)Kuuhaku ni ukabu hitomi.. yurusenai no nara
(six) その涙が生き返ったら...　どうしてもっと
(six)Sono namida ga ikikaettara.. doushite motto
目覚めてゆく化石たち　９０９５
Mezamete yuku kasekitachi 9095

I think I'm gonna kill someone
or something

Veeery soon.
I swear.
_-_

and I need more letters to Seunghyun people! :O

Stupid gingerbreads.

OMG MR WANG LEEHOM YOU LIVING PERFECTION.

I liked you better when you were you,
not who you're turning into.

I'll tie a string around my finger
To remind me to love you.
When I'm a country away
I'll be thinking of you
and years from now when I'm sharing a bed with a body,
at least I'll pretend that it's you.

I don't smoke till Sunday.
I swear.

Because of some financial problems I am forced to send few things.. I really don't want to part with them, but there are moments in life when you have no other choice.. >_<

( things to sell. )

I hate being sick.
I hate having a fever.
I hate writing Teory of Literature essays in such a state.
I hate the fact you don't talk to me.
I hate the fact I'm stupid.
I hate the fact I'm drinking too much (or at least you tell me I do - and you don't even know when I'm out drinking or when I'm home drinking or whatever. You just don't know a thing!
And you don't even IMAGINE I do that because of stupid YOU. At least in some percentage.)
I hate the fact I still have to stay there 2 more years.
I hate the fact my nailes are all broken and weak though I feed them with all that nutrients which cost a hell of money and I don't see the efects!
I hate the fact I cannot make the plan work.
I hate the fact I'm on my period.
And I hate how everyone thinks that explains the mood I'm in - because it doesn't. D-O-E-S--N-O-T.




Fuck.


I just want some effin' sleep >_>

Kasia: Agata, co my byśmy zrobiły, gdybyśmy miały przestać przeklinać, palić, pić, pisać smsy i żłopoać kawę?
Agata: Moze w końcu zaczęłybyśmy się uczyć.
Kasia: ...



La la la jest 3 w nocy a internala ni chuja ni ma :D